In the height of the taboo of baby loss, it’s hard for a parent to have special days out, parties family occasions, without it being noticeably obvious that there is a little pair of feet missing.
I’ve really felt this, this week. So many mile stones that our little girl would be heading up to this year. With time certainly not healing, I think although there are less tears, less of the sick feeling, as the time moves forward the bigger the hole, the hole that should be 2.5 years old.
I regularly get asked why I take my camera everywhere, since losing Melody, which I think only a bereaved parent can feel the true meaning of this, is that is makes you realise just how precious life is, the memories you make, are often the ones that are hard to repeat and sadly hold on to.
Although people say we are lucky to have so many photos, she wasn’t supposed to die. There certainly isn’t anything lucky about that. The photos I took of her in NICU were to embarrass her as she hit her teens. To look back on how far she came.
So to carry on the family memories, the family photos, isn’t actually as straight forward as most people think, it’s not lump them all together and say “CHEESE”. There is always our daughter missing.
So last year we asked people to write her name in the sand on their summer outings, little ways to know that someone some where is thinking of her, even just for the second whilst they are writing her name. Some people don’t like talking about her in case they upset us, well quite the opposite.
Although not many people participate, we absolutely love every one that does them.
Once again this year we requested the same.
Here is Melody’s footprints in the same (not just sand either)
Sacred Seashore R.A.O.K gift.
Indiana. Remembered on their wedding day.
Lyme Regis UK
Lyme Regis UK (different person)
Perth Australia. Mother’s Day present from my beautiful girl.
Soft Play! UK
Another Sacred Seashore piece
Saunton, by us. Joining us on our mini family break.
Play park written by us. Devon
Isle of Skye
Weston Super Mare
They may seem unimportant and maybe even a waste of time, as she can’t see them,
or a bunch of silliness.
But to us, it’s a comfort that she isn’t being forgotten, especially the spontaneous pictures, they’re the ones we know that she is genuinely in somebody’s thoughts.
We miss her terribly and nothing will ever change this;
these photos mean so much to us, it’s a little tiny bit of comfort in a world that hurts.
Thank you to each and every one who took the time to think and write our baby’s name this year.
You’ll never know how much it means…
26.2.2012 – 1-4-2012