Darker Shade of Pale

It’s been a while since I posted. A fair few things have happened since my last post. 
Firstly we had the launch night of Melody’s Elephant, where we raised £1300 for BLISS (babies born too sick too soon), we had male waxing…including my once hairy chested husband! A sponsored walk, some stalls, a BBQ and Hot dog eating competition
Image  ImageImageImageImageImage
It was absolutely amazing how much we raised at our first crack at fundraising…..you see the thing for me is I used to try and go out my way to help people, offer a shoulder, a baby sitter a friend, but these people who I’ve thought as friends didn’t bother to show up. There were more organisers than visitors, this hurt a lot, if things had been different we should have been doing a fundraiser with Melody sat in her pram, cooing or crying, mood dependant. We should have been celebrating she had come home, this is why it hurt that no one or at least very few bothered to come and support our baby who fought so hard to survive. Was so grateful to the few that helped and supported that night, not just that night but every single day. 
On a bright side I met a lady and her partner who travelled 200 miles just to put a smile on my face, takes someone special to do this. Though sadly we had to met through our Angel babies, our babies brought us together. 
We sent the angels up a lantern to play with and messages, such an emotional moment. ImageImage
Summer holidays began, unfortunately didn’t do everything we planned due to me being rather poorly for most of the summer. We did mange to get away to North Devon where we stayed with hubby’s mum and went to the Milky Way which the children LOVED, And also popped to Croyde Bay beach, which is a lovely beach, again the kids loved, can’t wait to go again over New Year! 
Melody’s Child death panel review was done over the summer too. We’re quite numb to the outcome. I’m sure my self and hubby will get through the conclusions we’re strong. 
This and another moment has set me back months in my grief “process”. The flash backs, the panic attacks, hearing the words “she won’t survive” over and over again. The visions. I’m guessing it’ll stay with us forever. As Angel parents it’s obviously Melody’s way of making sure we will never forget her. Which of course we won’t.
My little boy started school this year 🙁 so scary, he growing up so fast! Hopefully he’ll follow his big sister’s footsteps and enjoy school, but if he or she doesn’t I won’t love them any less.
Well I think that is it for now………

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *