Baby Loss at Christmas

Dear Melody.
As mummy and daddy sit watching your big brother and sister be amazed by their delivery of new pjs from the elf, I wonder which pjs the elves would have brought you. Would they have been pink? Or the standard Christmas ones, ready to dress you in a snowman themed sleep-suit.
Imagining you trying to tear down all the baubles at the bottom of the tree,as the top of the tree became heavy with the decorations we would have moved out of your reach.
I wonder would you have been crawling yet, poking at the few presents under the tree, your big brother and sister getting irate because you can’t quite understand the word “NO!”
We would be trying to figure out how to keep you asleep,so Father Christmas could deliver all 3 sets of parcels without you seeing him.
Then there is the day it self….tomorrow,Christmas Day; trying to point you in the direction of your presents, so your brother and sister can open theirs without little fingers piercing holes in their presents. But being 10 months old on boxing day you wouldn’t understand the difference between the toy and the paper, the paper would be far more interesting.
Lunchtime you would be discovering your 1st taste of sprouts, do you eat it or play with this little green ball,sat staring at you next to the carrots which, I think you would have loved.
You have a naughty mouthful of cream,but imagine you could have stamped your feet at not having more!! You feisty little thing.
You would have spent the rest of the day surrounded in cardboard boxes with the occasional “nos”, or “Mummy,Melody’s playing with my toys!!”
But instead you are resting your head in the clouds, making sure you’re watching your brother and sister having an amazing day. Making sure me and daddy have a glint of a smile on our faces, as I know you don’t like us sad.
I know you have company where ever you may be, but it truly isn’t the same, sending a balloon and lantern lighting a candle,is not the same.
I wish is a phrase I think I will use forever, a wish I know that will never come true.
I hope your beautiful eyes are healed and I’m sure they light up the skies.
We love you Melody Caitlyn. Merry 1st Christmas Sweetheart.
Lots of love and floaty kisses.
Mummy and Daddy.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One for every day you were here.

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