memories

Memories – The Waiting Game

Saturday 25th February 2012

These memories I hold onto they’re ours – they’re her story – her memories.
I’d had my second lot of steroid injections. We were to have a tour of the neonatal unit. In preparation for when the baby arrives in 2 weeks. But John had yet to arrive.
The baby was becoming less active, but I could still feel it – just.
I was put on the CTG machine, but after a while, it was decided I would need a scan as soon as possible.
The baby didn’t seem overly happy.
The scanner took a long time to turn on. It wasn’t the usual scanners as it was the weekend; this to me meant something was really wrong.
The Dr tried to reassure me that she was just sleeping, maybe having a rest.
I wasn’t convinced
We had been offered a tour of the baby unit, the time had arrived, the place appeared huge, I felt like an inch big. 
I’d already had one baby in NICU, but her gestation was nothing compared to what this baby would be. 28 weeks compared to 36/37 for me there was no comparison.
So many questions, yet nothing came out.
We were told baby had 80% of survival, which was a massive relief and that she was expected to be a ventilator for at least 10 days. She had the best chance because she was a girl
Amazing odds, we had hope.
The tour soon ended, it was good they took the time to talk to us.
The baby’s movements had a significant drop, again I was hooked up to a CTG, over two hours this time, to try and get the baby moving.
John had gotten a lift sorted, ready for the end of visiting.
But there was something not quite right. I felt out of sorts but no idea why.
My head hurt, my stomach felt strange, dizzy my eyes fuzzed.
I was beginning to feel scared. I sent John to get a midwife
The baby also hadn’t moved for an hour, not even with a cheeky Turkish delight. I had no idea what was happening.
The decision was soon made for me to transfer to one to one care. Even John was asked to stay, this in itself had me worried.
In fact, I was terrified.
I was placed on to the CTG again, BP and urines were checked hourly.
This was going to be a long night.
I really didn’t feel well
Would our baby last the night? 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *