In April 2012, a day for fools and jokes a plenty…we became bereaved parents when our gorgeous micro preemie princess died. Leaving us broken, forever changed.
When we left the hospital behind us we had no idea what the future held for us. As a couple,as a family as part of friendships.
The taboo of baby loss swamped us on many occasion,even now almost four years on, we still have to hear people tell us our situation, our journey,( which rightly or wrongly to me is our daughter), is offensive. People don’t want to hear about baby death.
Why would they? (Apart from raising awareness of course, to save other people).
With the friends turning their backs,crossing the road and family turning our grief in to their own with no thought for the hurt it caused.
I turned to writing.
I’d always loved writing, but kept this love hidden; well until I met my husband in 2009. But it wasn’t until Melody was born,that I really found a use for it. Documenting her life in what began as a NICU diary in the hope I would have given it to her once she’d hit maybe 16 or 18. But of course our 100 day NICU journey ended at 35 days instead, turning my positive diary into a place I could vent, hide behind paper and pen as it were.
When the rest of the world turned away,I had my trusty pen and paper. Of course I was then able to document my pregnancy after her death. (Which in turn I published).
As well as putting my thoughts into a diary I took to blogging.
I shared, some people read it, and it really does mean so much that people do.
I hope that Dare To Say To Say It Out Loud, has given at least one person hope. To know they’re not alone…
This morning checking my emails I discover an email from The Butterfly Awards.
The Butterfly Awards are an organisation who bring awareness to a subject that as I’ve mentioned before is incredibly silenced.
An appreciation for organisations and individuals who’ve helped support or be inspirational to others.
This for me is why I feel utterly shocked I have had a nomination (blogger/author) for an award.
To be told I’m inspirational, when at times,especially as we’re in the time of the anniversary of our daughter’s life,feel far from that.
Although I know I won’t get past the nomination stage,I feel incredibly honoured to have been nominated.
And will look forward to an evening not only with my husband,but with hundreds of others who so cruelly should never,ever be part of this community.
Thank you to who ever reads my rambles and for getting this far on this post.