Hope has been a strange one.
Right from the time we were told that Melody would be born early, to our 3 minute warning that she would be born even earlier than originally stated.
Given the hope that she had an 80% survival rate, more so because she was a girl.
The hope that instead of being ventilated for 10 days, she was ventilated for a mere 24 hours.
The hope that every single day she thrived, she amazed the doctors on just how well she was doing for what they call a micro preemie.
That hope when we were given a discharge date, to make plans with a baby for the May half term holiday.
But of course, that hope was stolen, taken away with a blink of an eye, no real warning.
Truthfully it wasn’t lost completely , we lost a future but actually we gained hope.
Although she was taken from us, she gave us hope.
She aided us to be more aware of my body for my next pregnancy.
Awareness that 12 week milestone, is not all its cracked up to be.
Although my pregnancies will never be the same again, even parenting.
She gave us the hope that she helped us bring her baby sister in to the world safely.
Hope for the future.
The hope that as her parents have come out the other side…well not the other side, because there wont’t quite be an other side, our grief won’t ever end.
That somehow, we have come this far, stronger than ever.
That is where my hope lies.