Not sure if I have any wisdom if I am honest, I am still learning myself.
Some days I can feel a new normal, others, something hits, bang its a bad day all over again.
I would like to think I have managed to support some newer fellow loss mums through the online community I am in, letting them know they are not alone.
Give bits of advice, things that maybe we missed out on like hospital care packages, make sure parents know that most hospitals do in fact offer these if not give suggestions,
like having two teddies, one for baby one for parents then just before burial or cremation, switch teddies so baby has mum and dad’s scent, and parents have baby’s scent.
This is something I wish I knew about at the time.
Too late for us.
When some mums question their feelings as being irrational, or other people telling them their feelings aren’t normal.
When actually if you’re not a bereaved parent you can’t really comment on what is normal child loss behaviour, because firstly it is individual and secondly it is incredibly complex.
There is no “Getting over it” or “Time healing all wounds”
My wisdom would be, if anything to grieve however you feel comfortable with, there is no time scale, no two people’s grief is the same.
Don’t let anyone rush you.
The only thing that isn’t normal about any of it is having to say good bye to your child.
There is nothing right about that.