From the Heart
To be honest I wasn’t sure what to do with today, and I am far from artistic.
So I thought I would do the first thing that sprung to mind. Of course all my children have a piece of my heart, it goes without saying.
But there are certain things that being Melody’s mum means it pumps and works a little harder than normal, some days although not as many it’s harder to catch my breath.
Something came about recently where my broken heart for Melody has become more apparent. Before Melody I’d had 3 miscarriages, to me then it was heartbreaking, sad, there WAS nothing worse than this.
In 2003 I felt shock.
In 2010 I wanted to know Why Me?
Again in 2010…Not again.
Until in April 2012 Melody died suddenly at 35 days,
my whole mind set changed, my heart changed.
Maybe a way of protection,
which is something I discovered recently when we did suffer our 4th miscarriage,
Not actually knowing what to think, to say to each other, simply because our hearts were smashed, to millions and millions and pieces from losing Melody.
The only feeling that surrounded this was that we felt guilty…for feeling nothing.
Because to me, to John there is nothing comparable to losing the girl who lived, then left to die.
Our hearts like a smashed glass stuck together, never healed.