I assist with some amazing ladies on a loss site, as well as them another lady placed her wisdom to me also.
So I am going to share an example of what I would say to someone who has recently joined us.
A very sad and warm welcome to the group. I am so terribly sorry of your loss.
Firstly did your baby have name?
I am so sorry that you find yourself here, you will often hear that time is a healer, you will indeed hear this a lot, but you will find that at times it can make it a lot harder.
Moving forward without your baby, isn’t easy.
If you have yet to have your baby, rest assured that we are and will all be here for you.
There is no right or wrong way in whether you see you baby after they have been born, it’s a decision only yourselves can make. Most hospitals are happy to take photos and prints for you and give them to you at a later date.
If you can spend time with your baby, if you’re able to send someone to get two teddies, unless your hospital provides them (ours didn’t), give one to your baby to keep her company, and keep one for yourself, when the time comes to say your final goodbyes, switch them, then you’ll both have each other’s scent. Your scent to keep your baby warm,
These next few weeks will be incredibly hard, but there is also no right or wrong way to deal with how you are feeling, only you hold your personal grief for you baby.
Our baby was 5 weeks old when she died, and it took me 13 days to decide if I was going to see her one last time, I am relieved I did.
I am 2.5 years down the line, I still have bad days, I still ask the world, Why Melody? Why us?
But I have come to learn to live with this new skin, at times it’s uncomfortable and other times it is easier to bare. But nothing will make me get over losing our little girl,
Take one day at a time, there is no rush, don’t do things you’re not ready for.
Please feel free to chat here as often or as little as you wish, we may all have different stories, but our endings are all the same. Our babies were taken from us, and we have to live ith this every single day.
Once again I am sorry that you find yourself here, any questions please ask.
May not seem like it now, but you will smile again, and you will be allowed.