The support of the past two and half years has often come hand in hand with disappointment. With people who you would expect to support, were/are anything but, instead causing more problems that deemed necessary.
There are variations and different levels of support.
The ones who sent a card, then went on their merry way.
The ones who DIDN’T cross the road, and asked how we were.
The ones who supported in the beginning, then have gotten bored as the time as move on, only wanting to know for the sad things.
Then there are the ones who promised to not walk away have now wrapped themselves around the taboo, with the thinking that our loss is contagious.
An infection that spreads to expectant parents and newborns,
they no longer want to hear…or at least that is how it feels.
Leaving you grieving for relationships wondering what you have done wrong..
Then there are the real heroes, the ones who were there from the minute the message went out to becoming family rather than friends.
My husband (and children) have been a power of strength.
John holding me up when my legs could do nothing but buckle, the people who will attack our relationship, call him names, throw accusations are the ones who fear they’re in the wrong, a mistake that has been unforgivable, all he did was take my hand and he never let go.
These along with the on line heroes, my friends through PAIL.
Lastly the new and re-establishing friendships, the ones that sadly know too well what it is like to no longer be a normal parent, can speak openly without judgement,can laugh hard without the assumption that you’re over everything.
Even when they haven’t had a loss, a form of acceptance and inclusion, goes a very long way, when some times, all I feel is lonely.
From my view out, I have learned a great deal about giving support where needed
I hope I have become a better person in that respect.
I don’t want anyone walking into this journey to ever feel alone or ashamed.
I aim to give a newly bereaved parent (or even not so new), warm arms and a gentle ear.
The right support can go a long way.
(no particular order, I haven’t intentionally forgotten anyway,
and hoping I have included the important groups)
I want to say a massive thank you to those who have been there for us.
In the beginning or all the time.