Day Eighteen Gratitude #captureyourgrief

This will be a slight repeat on previous days. 
It’s hard to bee grateful for some things when your baby died,
especially when she should have survived. 
I am grateful to my immediate family, the children I have brought into the world and the man that holds my hand, to never lets go.  
Losing Melody has helped me to see people for their true colours, that sadly some really are only out for themselves, this may sound bitter, but actually it really isn’t, her dying has helped to protect us further from people like this, a warning that we don’t deserve to be surrounded by folk that will bring you down. 
I am so incredibly grateful to have health, and healthy children; being a bereaved parent as I said makes you mindful, there are other parents who don’t get to keep their children. 
To know that the death of a child shouldn’t make me want to “cuddle my children more” 
Not only does that rub it in the face of s newly bereaved parent, but a death, should not make you want to love your child more. 
They are so precious, so small for such a small time. 
Finally grateful to the peace that she gave me, she has taught me so much about being a better mum. I was never very confident as a mum, still not, but when you can’t parent all your children, to let them be who they want to be, to chose their hobbies, to let them do things, when I wouldn’t have been allowed to. Life is far, far too short for missed opportunities, and I will do everything in power to be completely different to what I ever had to deal with. 
For that alone I am grateful for. 

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