#captureyourgrief Day Twenty Two

Dreams And Rituals
There have been dreams of Melody, dreams that I can never, share only with my husband. 
Not ever.
The cliché dreams would be that she should have been our honeymoon baby, after two miscarriages, we thought she was it, our changing luck. 
But no..
I guess the only rituals we have, are things like going out for lunch for her birthday, and visiting her grave and also on the anniversary of her death we tend to visit her, 
although this is the date we hate more.
We like to have her name written everywhere and any how. 
We have asked for her birthday that people write her name in a creative way, we had some lovely ways of her name being written. 
We also love it when people write her name in the sand when they are on holiday, almost like she is having some kind of adventure. One of our favourites is our American friends, whom we’ve never met, but were a friendly ear;  they included her in their wedding day. 
it was subtle, and not over bearing, just her name on a black board, with bride and groom stood either side of it. 

We have this hung i our lounge wall..

Last birthday we didn’t really do anything, because I was poorly, although my closest friend made sure she popped her head in and even took Kelsi for a couple of hours. 
I felt awful for not doing something for her. 
We eat cake on her birthday too. 

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