Capture Your Grief 2013 Day Twenty Nine Healing

Day 29 Healing.
Amongst people who don’t understand would see this word as if I was broken, or needed fixing.
I am apparently still new to this child loss community,
though again to the outside world (though not everyone)
it has been 18 months and I should indeed be “healed”
My c-section scar was last re-opened 7 months ago, but before that was Melody.
On the surface it has “healed” it was expected to be perfectly healed 3 months after the first cut.
Yet every now and again I get pains in it like it was only yesterday I’d had it done.
I can go weeks with out it effecting me,
I can go my daily life with it far from my mind, but in my thoughts.
But this is understood it was after-all major abdominal surgery.
It still hurts…..
Resting Painkillers help me through these days.
For those “first cut” days for Melody, to help me out of bed,
to paint a smile are indeed these people in this picture.
I often get asked how I do it, how to be strong? How to get out of bed…..
These guys.
These guys are my ‘paracetamol’,
my ‘special creams’
to help heal the days that are quite simply….crap.
The other healing tool is
talking about her,
talking about normal every day gossip.
As long as I have these, these will help me heal….
whenever that may be
I’m not broken just changed xx

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