The Stages of Grief.
Most people know the stages, and in the beginning in my head, with repeatedly being told that time heals, the obsession with time I had as the weeks rolled by I would attempt to tick the words off the list in my head.
But then, something would happen; a trigger, a thought, then one of the stages will hit again. Not all at once or even in any order.
The Limbo Months
The firsts are the worst bit. But then it turns into the seconds, when you can no longer include them in the year, or say “This time last year.”
Too many time limits. Too many tick lists.
I’ve added one…
That’s me, around the same time each year, I guess there comes a point where I just can’t tolerate, little annoyances, which are probably not even that annoying.
Patience is incredibly thin.
It is such a hard thing to explain why. Watching friends’ children turn the age ours should have done, it is such a happy event, but it is so bittersweet, filled with many emotions and thoughts.
Buying flowers for a child, cards that will never be read.
It isn’t surprising that I end up with stroppy bitch syndrome.
But I do hate the feeling too, I really don’t mean to be but I know once the heaviness of the next few months lightens, then my patience expands more.
There is certainly no black and white when it comes to the stages of grief, they certainly don’t disappear once you’ve completed them. Let’s be honest they’re not exactly an accurate guide, or at least for me, I don’t think it is.
These waves are crushing don’t let me paddle alone. I don’t want to drown.