baby loss, grief

Valentine’s Day. One of Those Days.

One of those days.

It was in 2012, our first valentine’s day as a married couple, I was pregnant with my third child and our first baby together – our Honeymoon Baby. All I had on my mind was how to make the night special. The most exciting part would be having our wedding album on that day too, life just couldn’t have gotten better.

Valentine’s Day Excitement

I went shopping that day, I needed some last minute presents for my husband, I wanted to spoil him, I was excited to be buying a card with ‘husband’ on it.
Stopping for a bite to eat, that in itself felt like a luxury, as I had been suffering from hyperemesis – severe nausea and vomiting.
As I sat down to eat, my hands began to hurt, and my face felt hot and fuzzy.
I looked down at my hands, they were swollen, so much so that they were beginning to split, they were painful.
I knew I had to phone for advice, so I managed to get a Midwife appointment.


I returned home, where we received our much-awaited wedding album, but it was pushed to one side, I felt worried. Making my way to the Midwife and I was greeted by a locum, not my usual one.
I explained that I had swelling, showing her as I spoke, and I that didn’t feel ‘right’.
To which she replied with,
“You do not get pre-eclampsia before 28 weeks, you’re barely 24 weeks, it is almost extremely rare to get it before 28 weeks”
She wanted to send me home, I explained again I didn’t feel right, I’d had pre-eclampsia in my first pregnancy, I knew the symptoms and I wanted to be sure, with a reply,
“It’s too early for that”
I had to ask if she could just dip my urine sample for peace of mind, where I had 3+ protein in, only then she did my blood pressure.
” Well, YOU must be an exception”
She was blunt while muttering, far it was far too early, under her breath.
She phoned ante-natal, where I needed to go immediately, then listened in briefly, asking if we knew the baby’s gender; where I replied with no, we didn’t want to know the sex.
“Baby’s fine sounds like a girl”
I felt so guilty, silly for being there. I didn’t want to be an exception, all I wanted was to be told it was pregnancy chub, that I had eaten too much.
All I wanted was our perfect Valentine’s night with my husband, I wanted to look at our wedding album.
That album remained closed for several weeks.
That Valentine’s Night, rather spending it with my new husband I was diagnosed with early pre-eclampsia.

Our final normal day, before being hit by the shattering news, we wouldn’t get to full term…..

Valentine's Day


I’m not keen on Valentine’s Day; it is one of those days, but it makes up her story.

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