When we left the hospital in 2012, with a broken-heart with no ideas of what to do. We were handed a cardboard butter box, with some of her items; with some leaflets that weren’t really relevant to our loss. The counselling support they gave us wasn’t helpful either. The sessions were in the G.U.M clinic; in the very back of the hospital, the avoidance of speaking about her began.
We learned as time went on that there simply isn’t the right support out there for us; we are regularly met with our baby is too old, or too young; or that she didn’t die the right way. She fell in a limbo area.
Support behind the screen
It became difficult to speak face to face to people, they were uncomfortable, or simple a lack of understanding. I turned to support from the internet, I have made some wonderful friends; we supported each other through the very darkest of times. But I knew from very early on I would want to give more; to help others, especially for those who were of similar loss to us.
Loneliness and lack of support has been one of the harder parts of this journey. It shouldn’t be the hardest solely should be the death of your child.
Originally Melody’s Voices was born after a discussion with a local midwife, who had a project which was to include a Pregnancy and Infant Loss group. After becoming a little nervous, I contacted the charity Towards Tomorrow Together; we worked together to make sure everything runs smoothly. Another Mum assists at the groups, we have a great resource, we’re still a long way to go; but we’re getting there.
Upon returning from The Butterfly Awards in 2016, it dawned on me how little support there is in my area, particularly for Neonatal and Post Neonatal loss, so the change of name from Melody’s voices to Little Daffodils, meant I can still name the group after Melody (they’re her flowers), but as a bigger picture it will hopefully come to mean something to people, to parents and their families.