capture your grief

Capture Your Grief 2012 Day Thirty Grief

Ironic, today being grief as it’s something I am very much struggling with today.
The pain of having to go through burying a baby is something I will never be able to get written down right. There is nothing to ever be able to describe it.
The fear of losing her has now been taken over by the fear of people forgetting about her. And unfortunately cracks are already beginning to show, we have a rainbow on board and it’s already been asked if we’re looking forward to having a 3rd, or were we planning 3….um no this is my 4th baby, and sadly I know this will get worse once our rainbow is safely here.
Like a new pregnancy will make it all better. Unfortunately…I think for every one else this road will never end. People just see that we lost a baby…..
But….The realisation that she’ll never have her first food, her 1st birthday.
She won’t ever wear clarkes shoes for her first steps. Fall over and graze her knees.
She won’t get sand between her toes, fight with her brother and sister.
The excitement of her first day of school, coming home tired and grouchy.
She’ll never make a snow angel or feel the cold from the snow when she falls over from skidding.
She’s NOT JUST the baby we have held kissed, cuddled and lost. It’s a life Melody will never experience. An option never offered or given to her. A chance never to be had.
Please accept our grief. We don’t know how we’ll feel next week, next month or even next year.
She will always be Melody Caitlyn Scott.
But please don’t ever forget her.

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