capture your grief

Capture Your Grief 2012 Day Nineteen Project

Today is about things that we may have worked on in Melody’s memory.
We began by fundraising for the charity BLISS (babies born too soon, too sick).
Our first little project was a car boot sale/cake sale. Where we built up to advertising what was our launch night….Melody’s moonwalk. It was an evening of a sponsored walk around a field, bouncy castles, hot dog eating contest and men’s chest waxing!
Unfortunately though it is a great cause not many turned up, which disappointed us somewhat. But with the few people who did arrive and through sponsorship we made £1300, which really isn’t too bad for our first attempt.
Could never have done it without Kelly, Natalie, Darren, Simon and John.
Though we’ve not got it into a charity yet we fund raise by Melody’s Elephant. Unfortunately at the moment I have been unwell, so fundraising has been put on a back burner for now.
We have set up a just giving page which we’re awaiting confirmation form the hospital that it will be going to the specific department we have chosen.
So our next projects is to now fund raise for a counsellor at the NICU. They unfortunately lack this facility. It’s not necessarily for bereavement, but as any parent who has had a baby in NICU it is horrendous feeling. The fear of the unknown, it would be nice to have someone, NOT involved with the babies to be able to listen to your worries and fears.
Melody was poorly at a week old, we were told there would be a possibility of her moving to a hospital dedicated to micro preemies, before her death it was one of the worst 45 minutes of our lives as we didn’t know what was happening, the nurses were dealing with her and we were left wondering, fortunately she didn’t get transferred and it transpired into her having a little faint due to tube pulling and making herself gag!!! (monkey through and through)!!
So it would have been nice to have had someone sad with us, giving a little reassurance if we wanted it.
And of course for bereavement, this is something that is terribly missed at the hospital, well the unit so we would like to help change this.
The final project we aim to participate in is raising money for memory boxes.
There is no words for me to describe the feeling of walking away from the hospital knowing your baby will never be coming home. When we had our memory box given we didn’t think anything of it, it was a normal cardboard box, with a few of Melody’s bits…her name bands cot cards, they had taken hand and foot prints for us, disposable camera and  little bracelets too.
But the box was far from pretty. So we would like to raise money for these boxes, not only the boxes but for certain items to go in to them….
Casts/moulds so not only you get the prints but actual shapes of their tiny little hands, and feet.
two teddies. One teddy to sleep with baby, one to sleep with parents then before the last good byes are said, the teddies can be switched so baby gets mummy and daddy scents and parents get the baby’s scent.
A candle
A few other little bits too.
To be given just a cardboard box instead of you baby is awful, but to help it make it somewhat easier.
Would also after participating in the Carly Marie and PAIL wave of light I would love to be able to arrange a more of a community gathering. 1 in 4 parents have lost a baby, be it by miscarriage, still birth neonatal, be lovely to have one night fr people to have somewhere to join in with the wave of light. There are plenty of communities around the country that do this, so would love to do this for 2013.
Thank you for reading

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