capture your grief

Capture Your Grief 2012 Day Nine Special Places

Today’s challenge I found hard to think of a special place. She never came home so we couldn’t take her on picnics or show her anywhere to make up memories of places, and when I was pregnant we didn’t go anywhere either due to suffering Hyperemesis, by the time that had eased I was in hospital being told she was going to be delivered.
There are 4 different places here. Each with a slightly different reference, but special to us as a couple and as a family too.
I have chosen a picture of Melody’s fresh clean incubator, Melody was actually out having a cuddle with daddy at this point. I took this picture as I had eventually wanted her to see her bed that she had been given in her early months. It was all memories.
But now it shows us some relevance of how this particular spot she was in HDU rather than ICU, she was two spaces away from moving into special care, or the growing room as it was nick named, she had graduated to this spot very quickly.
It was a devastating blow when we entered the unit that horrible morning to discover she was in the most intensive part of ICU as she had come so far, she wasn’t even in that spot when she was first born.
The photo opposite along with the beach pictures is of when we have escaped to North Devon a couple of times either on our own or with my daughter and son. We all love it there. Though she never physically came there with us, I always feel so close to her there, it’s like we are on a completely different Island away from anyone or anything, even if it’s busy. So peaceful.
The black and white picture shows and extremely special place to us if we can’t find the time to go to North Devon we come here, we got engaged here two years previous. The children find it very relaxing too. Love to be here to be able to see butterflies which are very close to our hearts and remind us very much of Melody. It’s usually little white ones too.
The last two pictures are of Melody’s Bedside and of course the most important, it’s where she is. The chapel is where she lays next to. My son has nicknamed it Melody’s tunnel. The children like to visit, we try to as often as we can. We all like to talk to her, make sure she always looks pretty, though now as the winter draws in it’s not so easy.
I just wish that she wasn’t there. She should have come home, it doesn’t feel right knowing our baby girl is alone at night, when in fact she should be at home, keeping us awake for her teeth, or more food. 
I wish….

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