capture your grief

Capture Your Grief 2012 Day Fourteen Community

Is about meetings/events that we may have attended involving our little monkey. Unfortunately there hasn’t been anything particularly local to us, well not since she passed away and me writing this now…
I would love to change this when I feel a little stronger.
So for today my community that I have found some kind of relief, is the online community. I found them unbelieveably helpful when I struggled with Hyperemesis, didn’t expect anything of me and if I wanted to moan about just how ill I was feeling they’d listen and advise or just the odd virtual hug.
Once she was born that pregnancy support turned into well wishes and congratulations, some being of awe while they were still growing their 26 weekers, mine was in an incubator fully seen.
Then sadly as Melody became ill though not religious I asked them for prayers and positive vibes, which they all did. And it became apparent Melody had grown her wings, they sobbed along side me, though some hundreds of miles away I felt they were holding my hand, hugging me when I needed one.
As I went from mainly using a birth board to PAIL, while my world turned upside down these women were months weeks years ahead of me, they knew exactly what i was feeling thinking, being hatred, guilt, anger sadness they knew how to answer my thoughts. I am able to rant about anything and not be judged, or mocked they know.
It’s a community that not one of us ever want to be in, we will never ever leave it, but miles apart we stand close, missing our children…
Though I’ve so far only met one beautiful Angel mummy, she has become one of my best friends, I love them all to bits.
In buckets so leaving now, see you tomorrow….with your candles at 7pm

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