Melody is buried. In the beginning we visited all the time,took flowers,spent time with her. I was on the constant clock watch,where I needed to visit. But rather than the time heals everything, we ended up visiting less and less,became harder and harder to walk away,to leave her in the cold and alone. As much as the children enjoy seeing her,we also had to think of them. Their thoughts and feelings. Most of the time when we do visit her outside of special occasions, it is down to them wanting to. It’s not something I can or would want to stop them from doing.
So,her grave is one of her special places. Unfortunately we’re currently deciding whether or not to continue to decorate her the way we have been,due to vandalism of some kind. I find it so hard, thinking we can’t decorate her as we wish, leave her toys lights to keep her company.
But it breaks me knowing she gets interference from anyone but her parents.
It adds to my feelings of not being able to protect and keep her safe,through life and now through death.
We are slowly sorting her space in our back garden,but finances,time and weather are making it slow, but I know it’ll be worth it.
She has a shelf in our living room,with a few bits on. But we’re again in talks of whether or not to put in our bedroom, her memory box is currently in the bottom of our wardrobe, so a shelf in our room rather than the living room,could become a sacred space.