The difference between the relationships before she died to now are huge. Some have broken beyond repair. But the fractures began to appear whilst she was alive. These could have gone two ways, closer, stronger bond. Or as I say broken beyond repair.
I know,that talking of baby loss, being around the families are terribly difficult. But there are people you genuinely expect better of. Because they don’t realise what they’ve done,it isn’t osomething that can be easily fixed.
I wish I could elaborate further. Cryptic words,isn’t something I do,that’s why I’m here,but this subject I can’t get my head around.
It has made my grief heavier and rather than concentrate on healing the death of our daughter, I was more concerned about justifying how I felt, how different behaviours were.
I find that is pushes me back in my grief. It shouldn’t.
I still have some of the same friendships, but dynamics have definitely changed over time.
Friends turned into acquaintances. And acquaintances turned into friends.
I met my husband online, never did I ever think that some of my new closest friends are part of an online community. Two of who are god mums to Melody’s little sisters.
The friends who I’ve made along the way who have stayed are liquid gold.
Allowed me to be open,yet still not walk away. Not allowing their own fears to take over and avoid me,which has happened.
When people suddenly stop talking, without explanation it is damaging,of course have lasting effects.
This is why I’m so lucky to have the people who are around. Who make me laugh and cry.