Monthly Archives: March 2015

Final day of Normality

We were off to visit Melody today, all of us apart from her big sister, who’d gone to a birthday party.
We were nervous about the visit as she’d had a couple of ‘bad’ days. 
Upon entry with my little boy we were greeted with the news we could have a cuddle with her.
This meant her big brother could see her outside of the incubator for the first time, he was so excited.
As usual the nurses opened her incubator, I was always scared about holding her.
But it was always so amazing. 
So soft. She certainly seemed to love cuddles.
Just making it to 2lb, she was still so tiny.
Her brother was in awe of her, he told her about his train collection,
even showed her a train.
We even managed an almost family photo.
Of course now I wish that I had never let my daughter go to that party.
She should have been with us.
Melody was doing so well, she’d picked up so much that tomorrow,
tomorrow her big sister could see her out of the incubator and watch a nappy change.
We were going to have a mummy and daughters’ day.
We’d decided we’d have a picnic close to the hospital, spend time with her.
We were incredibly excited.
Our first of many girly day.

The Countdown…Day 32

29th March 2012
That day, the day that unbeknown to us was the beginning of the end. 
Eyes sore and swollen. 
Still only open to those that are close to us. 
But her eyes are a painful reminder of what was to come. 
I couldn’t pick her up and give her a cuddle, even though she was uncomfortable,
I couldn’t even stay long or touch her much either. 
My darling baby felt under the weather, and all I could do was look at her through a plastic box. 
Helpless.

She reached this though. 
A huge milestone for micros. 
Barely a bag of sugar. 

The Countdown…Day 31

28th March 2012
It was obvious she was going to become such a daddy’s girl. 
She was very much like him too,(as are her little sisters). 
The picture doesn’t really paint exactly what she was doing,
But she was proving just how much of a fidget she was, head facing us, 
then the other, then back again.
Feet pushing up, unsure exactly what she was doing. Almost trying to roll over. 
She looks like her sisters here. 
Finally one of my favourite photos, and actually one of the last ones with her eyes open.
I have a bit of a struggle with her eyes, of course that comes with what happened later on. 
But the colour of them. 
My older two children, have blue eyes. 
Of course different dad, but I too have bluey eyes. 
When it came to her little sisters one has brown eyes like her dad,the other has my eye colour. 
Not knowing what my own child’s eye colour would have been 
hurts. 
Something small, but so great in importance, of knowing every aspect of your baby. 
An obvious every day one, yet I can’t answer. 

The Countdown…Day 30

27th March 2012

She’d had an apnoea the day before, whilst she had been out cuddling me. 

Apnoea’s are very normal in premature babies, 
but didn’t make it any less scary. 
I was terrified of cuddling her again, so took great persuasion for me to cuddle her again. 

They reassured me it was nothing I had done, that it purely was a normal premature reaction. 
Having a blood transfusion, again a normal premature baby task. 
Actually apparently compared to most micro preemies, Melody hadn’t quite had her fair 
share of transfusions. 
She was doing super well on that front. 
Feisty Little Miss Fidgety Pants.

The Countdown…Day 29

26th March 2012

Was my first day back driving, Monday to Wednesday evenings 

we used to stay at John’s brother’s house, whilst he was out of the country. 
It was nice to be close to the hospital, but this was coming to an end, but so was the NICU journey. 
With counting down the days until Melody would be moving out of the unit, and coming home.
Today it felt good to be able to pack the car for a few days and drive over, 
without the need for buses or lifts. 

It was Incubator switch over day, they’d do it once a week. 
I remember taking this photo, wanting to show Melody when she was older the clear box, 
she had spent her first few months in. 
All in the name of memory. 
Today was daddy cuddle day. 
We would try and take it in turns to have cuddles. 
He was always too scared because she was so tiny. 
But she certainly love her daddy cuddles. 
Feet!
She went back into her incubator, but not long after needed a nappy change…and a sheet change!
So someone so tiny, her bowels worked perfectly!
To save taking her out of the incubator again, I lifted her up to help the nurses. 
She looked quite chubby here. 
Back cosy finding her thumb. 
I am so pleased I took this video, for obvious reasons.
I initially only took it to show her siblings, we also have ones from the day of her birth too.
But they’re private. 

The Countdown…Day 28

25th March 2012

This was a day I was unable to visit. 

Both my little boy and I had colds, they weren’t bad, 
but of course we didn’t want to pass them on to Melody.
So it was Daddy and Big Sister visit. Nanny J too if I rightly remember. 
Melody responded really well to her siblings’ (and ours) voices.
She’d often turn her head to their voices. 
Very Proud Big Sister. 

The Countdown….Day 26

23rd March 2012

More Snuggles with her again today.

They were fast becoming more frequent. 
Which We liked a lot. 
She seemed to be enjoying them more and more.

The cuddles were always very short, so as not to wear her out too much.
This point she was still only having a couple of nappy cares a day.